i have lucid dreams about short films in black and white.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

screw tumblr.

*imagine there is a photo here until i figure out how to add them...it wont let me...*

I can't figure out how to use tumblr so I'm just making a blog on here. Its always been much easier to understand.

I am rather drawing a blank because I’m trying to type elegant, breathtaking words that will make no sense whatsoever unless you are in fact me. Lately the nostalgia that has seemed to stitch my spine together and hold me upright has flawed and tumbled into the cracks of bone because I cant stand up anymore without a crutch. I have the sickening sweet feeling of longing for someone whom I’ve never met or never had. I tend to talk about this “nostalgia” quite a lot and it may appear that I seemingly mean to but I do not. It just is a natural feeling that has lived with me for forever. I have an attic space filled with nostalgia it seems; pictures of missed loved ones that never existed, poems to a more-than-a-friend friend that I never had (but more than possibly dreamed of having) and whimsical dress up costumes which I don’t know why they are up there. Of course this attic doesn’t exist except for in my mind. In fact, it probably is my mind. Believe me, I am not trying to be lonely. If I were it would be easier to surrender to the fact that I am alone. Does that make sense?

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